The holidays are over, and we’re all getting back into the groove of our regular routines. As I reflect on the past few weeks, I keep thinking about how much food plays a role in bringing people together, especially in the Jewish community.
Of course, food is central to celebrations in so many cultures, but sometimes I wonder if anyone does it quite like we do!
You’ve probably seen those funny memes about the turkey and the chicken talking. The turkey complains about Thanksgiving, and the chicken responds, “Have you heard of Shabbat?” Or the ones where people talk about how exhausting it is to prepare Thanksgiving dinner, and Jewish families respond, “We do this every week!”
It’s funny because there’s definitely some truth to it.
I don’t know what traditions you grew up with, but in my family, particularly at my grandparents’ house, the amount of food and the number of courses were unbelievable.
We’d start with half a grapefruit. Then came the challah, dips, and appetizers (forshpeis). Next was soup, followed by salad, and then the main course, which usually included two proteins, one or two starches, and a vegetable. And, of course, there was dessert and fruit.
It was SO much food!
But looking back, the food itself is only a small part of what I remember.
My grandparents were a team in the kitchen. My grandfather made the challah and loved experimenting with more exotic dishes, while my grandmother handled the traditional family favorites. They pickled their own cucumbers, sometimes experimented with pickling other vegetables, made gefilte fish, and flipped through cookbooks looking for something new to try.
There was always something happening in that kitchen, and it was a fun tradition to be part of.
I can still remember walking into their house after school on Fridays. The smell of cooking filled the air. Furniture had been rearranged to squeeze more people around the table, and you knew the house was about to be full.
And full it was.
Cousins, aunts, uncles, great-aunts and great-uncles, and sometimes friends. Everyone gathered.
As kids, we would play store in the basement, put on fashion shows with dress-up clothes, choreograph dances, or invent some other performance for the adults. When we were really little, it was simply crawling around on the carpet, playing, singing, and being together.
The adults talked, the kids played, and the house was alive with the sounds of family.
Those are some of my favorite memories.
As we got older, and my grandparents got older, the traditions naturally evolved. Sometimes the gatherings moved to different houses. Friends joined us. Then boyfriends and girlfriends. Eventually, new generations became part of the table.
The location might have changed, the people around the table might have changed, and the menu certainly changed, but one thing remained constant: Being together mattered.
Today, our family is bigger and more spread out. Some of us live in different cities, and with busy schedules, work, activities, and travel, it’s nearly impossible to get everyone together every week. But we still try to celebrate Shabbat together whenever we can.
And yes, the amount of food has changed, too. Because let’s be realistic, that was A LOT of food!
What hasn’t changed for me is how much I love having a full house.
I love inviting friends, my children’s friends, and extended family. I love the noise, the conversations happening in different corners, the kids laughing, and the feeling of everyone slowing down and reconnecting after a busy week.
It’s not about having a perfectly set table or serving seven courses. It’s about making space for people to gather.
And speaking of traditions, putting up our sukkah every year is one that I work hard to keep going for my kids. I won’t pretend it’s easy! Every year, there’s the challenge of getting everything assembled, figuring out what goes where, and, of course, getting the schach up on top. For us, that’s always the hardest part! But we work at it, and somehow it all comes together.
I’m especially thankful for the wonderful group of friends who show up year after year to help me put it up. It’s become its own tradition, and I truly couldn’t do it without them. There’s something special about having friends who help you keep these traditions alive, even when they involve a little extra work, some problem-solving, and a lot of lifting!
And once it’s standing, I’m always so glad we did it.
Just recently, we hosted a group of kids from my daughter Miriam’s class in our sukkah. Our sukkah isn’t nearly big enough for all the kids and parents to sit together, but watching the kids pile in, sit together, eat, laugh, and enjoy the experience was wonderful.
What struck me most was how happy the parents were to see the kids gathered together in the sukkah, sharing that moment.
And it made me think about my grandparents.
All that preparation, all those hours in the kitchen, moving furniture around to make room for everyone. It was work, and I’m sure there were times when it felt like a lot. But what I remember isn’t the work. It’s the joy of being together.
I hope that’s what my children remember, too.
The traditions don’t have to look exactly the same from one generation to the next. We don’t have to recreate every course, every recipe, or every detail. What matters is carrying forward the feeling of being welcomed, of belonging, and of being together.
That’s what I hope my children remember someday. Not necessarily what I served for dinner, how many courses we had, or how much work it took to get the sukkah standing, but how the house felt when everyone was there.
L’Dor V’Dor. From generation to generation.
Food may be what brings everyone to the table, but it’s the people, the conversations, the laughter, and the memories that make us want to come back.
And maybe that’s the real tradition we’re passing down.Hannah Sattler
